New Year

I'm still not sure about this blogging business but people keep telling me that I should - so here is my third try at it. I think I feel like it's an open diary for the world to read and I think I can be a rather private person at times. I am quick to express myself but when it comes to matters of the heart and things that really hit home I bottle those things up inside and I don't really share them. So- that's probably not very healthy so I am trying this.
It's new year's eve and I am sitting here alone with my favorite Pinot Noir (Erath), my kids are sleeping and my husband is working. And tears are running down my cheek. Insert primal scream here! My brother is in the hospital and that scares me to no end, but I remain positive for him and that things will be fine because I love him so much and that is the only thing I can do besides pray which I have been doing a lot of these days. I talked to my father after hearing the news and we were opening up to each other about how we are still feeling about the death of my mother. He started to cry and had to go. I can not begin to imagine how he feels day in and day out. He is a strong man and I know eventually he will hurt a little less (like me) but he will never be the same (like me).
Well - they say when you get lemons - make lemonade, so I am going to do that. I am taking my wine and going outside and enjoying this beautiful blue moon we are having and give thanks for all that I do have in my life. My husband, my kids and my family - with thoughts of them I found myself smiling even through the tears. God bless us.