Scream!!!!!!!

That is what I want to do. I feel so overwhelmed and I've got to let it out. I know me and when I get like this I make up my mind and I do whatever it is I decided to do. I don't think everything through but it always works out. The only problem is that I have to think everything through and I need support on my decisions. I hate when I'm not in a good spot. I am doing things in my life now that are helping me to be a better me. I am trying to quit smoking. I have been exercising, eating even healthier. I love my kids and they are great. We have been doing more things together and spending real good quality time together. So- what's my problem then? What is my F-ing problem! Everything can't and probably won't be good, but why does it have to be big chucks of things at once. So much has happened in my life with my family and my heart aches to be with them. I want to crawl up into a ball and lay in my basement on the couch and not talk to anyone. It's not very often - but why can't I just be left alone.